BBQ Blizzard.

April 15, 2008

So we were at Dairy Queen the other day and Betsy asks the cashier for a blizzard and chicken fingers with BBQ sauce.  Apparently, the girl heard “BBQ Blizzard” and proceeded to look at us like we had penises growing out of our foreheads.  Probably one of the funnier things that happened that day.

I wonder what it would taste like?


Donkey Flu

December 18, 2006

There was this Christmas pageant at the church down the street from where I live.  It was something a little different than most Christmas Pageants.  This particular pageant took the guests on a “tour of Bethlehem.”  It was actually really nice to experience something different than the usual.  On the tour, we stopped and visited Mary at her home, Joseph at his carpenter’s shop, and eventually baby Jesus in a manger.  We live in Chicago, so the manger was indoor and heated.

I digress, so on to my point.  Outside the “manger” there were a few sheep and one donkey corralled  in a small “petting zoo.”  My mother-in-law decided that she wanted to pet the donkey just like the children before her were petting it.  She’s stroking the nose of the donkey (much like one would pet a horse’s nose) and all of a sudden, “SLURP”!  The donkey had sucked her finger in and bit her.  Yes, my mother-in-law was bitten by a donkey.

The next day, she had gotten very sick (it’s flu season, mind you).  She got tested at the doctor’s office where she works and they said that she had contracted two strains of the flu at the same time.  She says that she just got sick. 

 We all think it was the Donkey Flu.

Here’s my take on these:  How come none of them ever state what the candidate is going to do, rather than what his/her opponent did wrong previously?

It seems to me that these commercials more resemble mudslinging than campaign ads.  Imagine if Coca-Cola decided that in their next ad, they would say, “Pepsi puts boogers in their products.”

Personally, this type of “advertising” would encourage me to not purchase or endorse either product.  Pepsi for the boogers, and Coke for being a “tattle tail”.  I think it’s high time for political figureheads to start worrying about what they’re going to do rather than bashing their opponent.  It’s unprofessional.

I hate politics anyway.

The Huge Black Caterpillar

October 17, 2006

No, you sicko… not that.  So I was driving home from school one Wednesday Night and as I’m driving, I see what looks like a huge black caterpillar crossing the road.  This thing had to be at least 20lbs.  I wasn’t sure what it was, and at first inclination I thought it was a skunk (which it happened to be).  I position my truck’s wheels so not to hit the critter and to allow it to go directly between the wheels unharmed because I didn’t want my truck to smell like skunk.

When I got home and exited my vehicle, the air surrounding my truck smelled of skunk (elderberry lol Monty Python).  The little critter sprayed my truck!

So while I was trying to avoid the smell by NOT killing the creature, I get sprayed anyway!

Que Sera Sera.

The Weird Candy Guy

October 4, 2006

So I forgot to mention this:

When we were on our way to TN, we stopped to gas up and get a few snacks. Betsy sees these raspberry dollars (they’re a gummy candy in the shape of a one dollar coin) that she absolutely LOVES. She hasn’t seen these candies in a while, so she was pretty excited about it. She decides she is going to buy the lot of them (there were eight boxes).

The guy behind the counter says in an extremely country accent, “You should buy them factory direct”, then proceeded to ask me if my wife was weird. This guy had a cleft lip and no teeth, but he thought Betsy was weird.

Guess they don’t have mirrors in Kentucky.